Damn it. I just want to be happy.
Stating the Facts
This week is my last week of high school ever. Unless I don’t pass gym class (ikr.) and I just wanted to say something that my mom or any adult women who act like they’re my mother could comment on. but if someone comments, that’s fine. Just don’t be a bitch about it because for once I’m going to say what I damn well please.
I’ve been quiet all through high school, suffering as quietly as possible, and trying to pass all my classes with great difficulty because i suck at everything. And this week is my last. After friday at 1:45 pm. I’m done. I’m out. It’s over. And then what do I become? Probably a suffering college student who doesn’t know what the fuck she wants out of life. And every time I try to talk to someone about it, and they shoot down my idea of being an artist, I value their opinion too much to fight for what I want. And this week I realized, I’m not cut out for life. I’ve put so much of my time into wanting other people to evaluate me and tell me who I am, rather than be myself and become who I am supposed to be. And I’m sick of it. I don’t belong in a box. So this summer, after all the parties are over, and the celebrating is done, I’m leaving. I’m getting out of here. I don’t know how long or how far, but I need to go somewhere where I can finally figure out who I am rather than who everyone says I’m supposed to be. Because if I’m being honest, I can’t do it anymore. I’m going to break down if I have to listen to one more person doubt me. And this box of a room I’m living in now is even making me feel like I’m drowning. It’s either I leave, or I spend the rest of my life miserable. And I don’t deserve to be miserable. I’ve been through way too much bullshit for that.
Then article is written by a 17 year old who is really on the ball. It’s short and definitely worth reading the whole thing!
It’s no wonder people hate the topic of religion. people who know theology don’t usually try to just simply teach it to people, they try to shove their knowledge of it down other people’s throats. They make them swallow it like medicine, hoping it’ll cure them of whatever it is they’re going through. Theology is knowledge about God, but loving someone the way God wants us to is Wisdom. We are meant to be an example to those who don’t know any better, not the thing that drives them away from the most wonderful thing on Earth. The hard part is finding balance.